I'm going to break a rule I had set for myself to never blog in the immediate aftermath of bad results. Emotions run high and it's amazing how after even a short space of time - time that allows for some proper reflection and perspective - things can feel very different.
Right now though, I feel I've been beaten by this gambling game I'm playing. Something inside me feels that something has fundamentally changed. Let me explain.
Over the last few days, results have gone badly awry. There is nothing new in this; I've been through similar spells before and come out the other side smiling. Ultimately I'm only about £600 down since the start of the year. Not good but I've had much worse spells.
No, what has hit me hard have been the circumstances of many of the losing bets. Phil Taylor at odds of 1.05 - that's 20/1 ON - Fleetwood at odds of 3/1 ON, late goals, jockeys falling off their mounts on the flat, Chelsea at 3-0 up and drawing...all these things have cost me a lot of money.
The thing is, for the first time really, I've found myself not enjoying what I'm doing. I was unnecessarily and unfairly irritable with my son this afternoon. I've hated watching 'Super Sunday', found myself distracted most of the weekend, and generally have been pretty miserable. And you know something? I don't think it's worth it. In fact, I know it's not worth it.
What I'm about to type seems a little melodramatic, but it's what I truly believe. If I read the above paragraph, and then not do something to change things, then the conclusion would be that perhaps there is a problem here. I don't have an addictive personality, but if what is essentially a hobby becomes something that is not enjoyable and actually starts to have an adverse impact on other parts of your life, well, it doesn't make much sense just to carry on, does it? And if you do just carry on under these circumstances, what does that say?
Over the last two years, I have made money. Not a massive amount, but enough to make the hassle worthwhile. Now though, after two years or so, I'm beginning to find things more of a struggle. Getting bets on is becoming harder as bookmaker accounts get ever more restricted. I put myself under more pressure to succeed, to catch the best odds, to ensure the correct mindset is constantly applied to my betting activities. And I think that perhaps it is getting to be a bit too much. I've been sucked in and have lost perspective as a result. Consequently, for the first time I'm asking myself, can I hack it? The more pertinent question to ask though is, do I want to hack it?
So where do we go from here? To answer that, I need to think. I don't want to give gambling up completely. That would be throwing the baby out with the bath water. But what I do need to do is to change things in such a way that I can get back to enjoying it all again.
My immediate thought on how to do this is to downsize a little. Downsizing would mean fewer bets, less time spent placing bets, and generally the whole gambling experience becoming a little less intense.
A well-thought out selection policy upon which services to follow is needed too. I hate dropping services, largely because I like the people that run them and in a very real way, I feel that I am letting them down. These guys get all sorts of shit when things don't go well which frankly they don't deserve. They all have a long term edge. They all work hard and provide great customer service. And I feel like a right git when I stop following. I hope they understand.
Well, what a miserable old read this has turned out to be. It wasn't supposed to be. The weekend has been a real eye-opener. A watershed. Ultimately though, I'd be a fool not to listen to what my heart is saying. I suddenly realise that I miss putting my feet up at the end of the day, reading a book or a newspaper with a glass of red in front of the fire. Simple pleasures. That's what gambling should be. A simple pleasure; a hobby, not a second job. I think I need to adjust my sights.
http://green-all-over.blogspot.com/2012/02/runs-winning-and-losing.html - My thoughts. Good Luck.
ReplyDeleteYou've been extremely unlucky with those bets all losing but everyone betting on those were in the same opinion of who was going to win and even though it's not impossible to make money backing these short prices, it's very unlikely that you will. If there's a seemingless obvious winner, the selection will be overbet or at best be an accurate price. Even if you do manage to profit betting on such short prices it won't be a lot. There's always more value where opinion is divided but it takes more skill (or a good tipster) to find these selections.
ReplyDeleteHope you turn it around! I have added you to my Blogroll, would be great if you could do the same. (http://betfairbanter.blogspot.com)
I think most of us can probably relate to what you are saying Rowan – it just sounds to me like things have got a little out of balance. However, the only one that can get the balance back, is you…
ReplyDeleteWhat you could maybe do, is break the ‘gambling experience’ down into it’s various components: money; thrill; time; puzzle etc.
You could then think about whether each of those components is something positive or negative to you: so for example, are you simply doing it to make money – or is that an incidental ? If it’s the former are you comfortable with the stake size you are using ? Are you able to deal with the fact that you will sometimes lose ?
If you break ‘the whole’ down into these components and go through each aspect, you should then have a clearer view of what you are trying to achieve – and which areas you feel uncomfortable with.
Knowing that should then help you refine the way you choose to play…
Ultimately, this really is a multi-faceted pastime ! It sounds to me like you don’t want to ditch it altogether – but you do need to be in control of it (not the other way round).
A bit of time away from it, gathering and processing your thoughts, should enable you to redefine it in a way you feel more comfortable (or walk away from it, if you feel that is the right ting to do).
A.
Hi there - feel your pain for sure - I am suffering in a similar way and do wonder whether it is all worth it. I think you are right about downsizing being key to your success - I've had to drop a couple of services recently as it's become a chore rather than fun and the constant treading water (through OVER diversification) is tiring at best.
ReplyDeleteIt's a learning process - hopefully we'll get there!
Hi Rowan,
ReplyDeleteI feel the need to apologise for my part in the weekend disaster. I can't remember the last time I was responsible for a single bet on a 1.3 favorite, but, as you know, it was supposed to be one half of the BSP/BSS double, with the best price for the double being 2.30 at Bet365. As the BSS game was postponed, we were left with an uncomfortable four-point bet on 1.3 favorites, Fleetwood in the BSP. As far as the game is concerned, I suppose you've read the recap e-mail. Fleetwood had 22 corners (Tamworth had three), eleven shots on target (Tamworth had three), another eight off target (Tamworth had three), more possession, missed a penalty (their first miss from the spot after eight goals scored from penalties so far this season) and hit the woodwork. And only managed to share points in a 2:2 draw. 'One of those days' if there ever was one. But, it wasn't supposed to be a stand-alone four-point bet on 1.3 favorites, it was supposed to be one half of a double and I suppose you know how well the doubles have been performing in the past few years (+51 point profit at an ROI of 37.8% in 2011; +153 point profit at an ROI of 39.4% since August 2008). So I'm not apologising for a failed double - I'm just trying to put things into perspective.
I definitely understand the frustration though - my portfolio of other services isn't that different to yours (the main difference being the lack of racing services in my portfolio) and placing all those bets each week isn't exactly what I would call a 'simple pleasure', especially during bad runs.
I used to let daily results get to me, a bad day at the office used to turn me into a grumpy, snappy bastard. I'd like to think I've managed to change. A good day at the office still makes me happy, proud, energetic and tipsy (or plain drunk). A bad day at the office is still very frustrating, but nowadays I don't let it have an impact on my personal life. I don't even feel that bloody rush anymore, I'm not one of those guys with a constant eye on a livescore website - it's a bit different with my own bets (I like listening to the radio commentaries), but, as far as other services are concerned, I'll simply place my bets and calculate the profit or loss at the end of the weekend. Before I shut the computer down, I usually take a look at the long-term results and then I simply forget about betting for a while. It doesn't exist until I want it to start existing again. I'd like to share the magic formula, but I have no idea how I do it. Maybe it's the heroin I inject into my eyes every day. I'm joking of course. Maybe it's humour.
Of course, it would all be different if I wasn't making money in the long run. If you're not, you probably do need to take a closer look at all the services you're currently following - maybe change the stakes for some of them, maybe drop some high-turnover racing services that aren't easiest to follow (I've never been a member of any racing service, so I'm speaking hypothetically - I've no idea which of these racing services are high-turnover ones), simple but possibly crucial things like that. I'm sure it can all still be fun - just remember how you've staked few times more than you were supposed to on that winning Blue Square South bet a, what, year ago? - but I don't think it could ever be fun if you're losing money.
I hope you'll make all the right choices.
cheers,
skeeve